Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Myth of Superwoman

I am not Superwoman. There, I've said it. I've typed it and, once I post this blog entry, it's going to be there for everyone to see... forever. And guess what? I'm okay with that!  I am not the mythical creature known as Superwoman. Oh you know who I'm talking about! The woman that we all think exists somewhere - the one who is the very best wife / mother / employee / housekeeper / cook / daughter / friend / laundress / organizer / chauffeur / planner / hostess / sex goddess in the world! You hear people talk about her all the time and you keep thinking you'll actually meet her in person one day, maybe even in your own bathroom mirror. But guess what? In all the time you've been hearing about Superwoman, have you ever heard anyone say, "...and she's the happiest woman on the planet!" No, you haven't and do you want to know why? Because if she existed and if she actually did accomplish everything on the mythical list, she'd be anything but happy.

The whole Superwoman myth kind of pisses me off, I'm going to be honest about it. I loathe setting myself up for failure - flat out hate it when someone else sets me up for failure - and that's precisely what the myth of Superwoman does to all women. It plants the seed in us that we can't possible be fulfilled, can't possibly be proud of ourselves if we aren't killing ourselves being perfect. Folks I'm here to tell you that I'm nowhere close to being perfect and I gave up trying. Trying to be perfect takes too much time and energy - energy that I could be lavishing on my children, my husband or myself. 

Did I give the Superwoman thing a try? Sure I did! I drove myself crazy for two solid years of my life trying to do it all, have it all and pretend that I was enjoying it all until I realized what a liar I had become. What scared me even more was the thought that I am the woman that my daughter will model herself after - and that what I was showing her as a woman is the last thing I'd want her to do. How did that happen? How did I become so lost in the myth that I forgot all about reality? It would be easy for me to blame it on a lot of things and other people, but the truth is that I let it happen. I forgot, for those two years, how important it is to be healthy in my body, soul and mind. I forgot that even my own Mama, who can do more in a day than any other human being I know, believes that naps are the greatest thing since Sam Elliott. I forgot that it doesn't matter what anyone else outside my family thinks of my goals and aspirations. Most of all, I forgot that the most important job I will ever have is being a mother - and that the first rule of motherhood is: "Teach by example." 

I want my children to find their own happiness in themselves, not in what others think of them or their accomplishments. I want them to believe that they know what is best for themselves and I want them to believe that nothing is worth having if you don't have the time and energy to enjoy it. In short, I want my children to NEVER believe in the Myth of Superwoman. I wish to heaven I'd never believed in her - she's a fickle creature and she's never, ever satisfied with what she has. 

3 comments:

  1. Well said! You so rock, as a Mama, as a wife, as a friend, as a jewelry artisan, as anything you set your mind to!

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  2. Thank you Danielle and Amanda :)

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